not much love for Ashlee

There’s not much love out there for Ashlee Simpson at the moment. This was rather painfully illustrated to me this morning when I followed a link that lead me to The Stop Ashlee petition. As of this writing, nearly 266600 denizens of the Internet have “signed” it by leaving “a” name (it should be a real name, but there are a couple dead celebrities on the list… so I’ll just leave it at that) in support of the suggestion that Ashlee find another career.

Even more interesting, many of the signers of the petition have left comments. The range of comments is rather remarkable. They range from the reasonably intelligent:

How truly amazing that someone as talentless as Ashlee Simpson is permitted to continue her “career” in the music industry despite her constant failures and humiliating “performances.” Do we no longer have ANY standards? Please put a stop to this blundering teen’s “career”– calling her an “artist” is truly an insult to all REAL accomplished musicians. — #3044


Oh my word…Ashlee Simpson is an abomination to the profession of music. She makes me writhe in pain. I myself am a singer and am able to perform live very well. It makes me sick that she is in the spotlight solely because of her name, when there are so many TALENTED folks out there who could sing her under the ground. Finally…PLEASE MAKE HER STOP! — #4099

From there, they move to the somewhat odd with comments like:

Much like Old Yeller, this one needs to be put down. — #142


Miss Daisy does not approve. I’d like drive all over her sweaty bottom! — #191 (Jessica Tandy)

Finally, some of them move, shall we say, “well off the paved road”. One of the more printable quotes was:

Baby Jesus hates you Ashley. — #4788

Beyond this, there seemed to be an unusual number of suggestions that Ashlee is physically ugly, that she should consider a career in adult video entertainment if she was really interested in a career more in line with her level of talent, and comparisons to Milli Vanilli. This last fact impressed me because I for one did not think that many of the people who follow Ashlee Simpson are old enough to remember Milli Vanilli. I also have to wonder: why is “adult video star” such a talent-less profession? I have to think that a career in ditch digging requires far less talent — though it carries much less social stigma, these days.

I did not bother to watch the Orange Bowl this year and missed Ashlee’s half-time show debacle. Feeling the need to do the proper leg work before forming an opinion, I headed over to eBaum’s World and watched their digitized video of Ashlee finishing her song… and hearing the crowd “boo”. After seeing that, I think any TV programming executives out there need to think VERY hard before taking calls from Joe Simpson on behalf of his younger daughter. Her performance did not match any definition of “music” that I can recall.

As for me, I’ve got my iPod tuned to the Indigo Girls’ Rites Of Passage. Now those ladies… they could sing and play.

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